Tag Archives: humour

Why teachers drink

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HAPPY FRIDAY: What drives teachers to drink

IF you’ve ever taught kids before, you or your fellow teachers are likely to have come across something like this before. Some of these test answers indicate artistic minds at work or supreme logical thinking. There’s never a dull moment in the classroom, but many teachers use results like these as their excuse to drink. Enjoy!

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The Game of Rugby for Beginners

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HAPPY FRIDAY: Vertaan jy rugby? Do you understand rugby?

WE’RE going to have to explain some of these to our non-South African friends. When the Rugby World Cup comes around many struggle to get to grips with how the game of rugby works. It’s a strange and spiritual sport that may need some explaining.

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New ABC Alphabet for Kids

ABC: The new alphabet for kids in the digital age

Learning the alphabet was fun. Singing the alphabet song has got to be one of the highlights of early life. When we started school many years ago, we had to learn the ABC. Kids still do, but the only thing that stayed the same is that A still stands for Apple!

Old School Alphabet

Old Alphabet ChartNew Alphabet for kids today

New Alphabet Chart

Related Post: Learn the National Anthem the ABC way

The Banana Test and the Broke Old Lady

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SOMETHING SILLY: Banana Test & the Broke Old Lady

WHEN I SAY I’M BROKE – I’M BROKE!

A little old lady answered a knock at the door one day to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning”, said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“Go away!” piped the old lady. “I’m broke and haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” said he. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

“Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well let me get you a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.”

THE BANANA TEST

There was a very, very tall coconut tree and four animals, a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully. Try and get it within 30 seconds.

Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

  • Lion = you’re dull.
  • Chimpanzee = you are a moron.
  • Giraffe = you’re a complete idiot.
  • Squirrel = you are just hopelessly stupid.

A coconut tree doesn’t have bananas!

Obviously you’re stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax, banana brain. Try again next year.

Happy Friday !

An illustration of irony

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IRONY: An illustration

IRONY:- “The use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning; a statement or situation where the meaning is contradicted by the appearance or presentation of the idea. Three kinds of irony are commonly recognised. Verbal irony: a trope in which the intended meaning of a statement differs from the meaning that the words appear to express. Situational irony: an incongruity between what is expected or intended and what actually occurs. Dramatic irony: an effect produced by a narrative in which the audience knows more about present or future circumstances than a character in the story”.
www.about.com

An illustration of irony

Global Warming Irony

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room.” (Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove, 1964)

Psychic Fear Irony

“A tragic irony of life is that we so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away.” – Ellen Glasgow

MacDonalds Irony

“Irony is a kind of winking at each other, as we all understand the game of meaning reversal that is being played.” (Barry Brummett, Techniques of Close Reading. Sage, 2010)

Keep gate closed

“But the irony is that because the band isn’t the focus any more, it allows me the chance to enjoy being a member of Def Leppard much more.” – Rick Allen

Ironic British Survey

“Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.” – Agnes Repplier

Execution Chamber Irony

“When irony works, it helps to cement social bonds and mutual understanding because the speaker and hearer of irony both know to turn the utterance, and they know that the other one knows they will turn the utterance.” (Barry Brummett, Techniques of Close Reading. Sage, 2010)

Small is beautiful

“I love the irony. I’m perceived as being really young and yet I have the clinical condition of an old man.”
Michael J. Fox

Litter free irony

“Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up.”
George Saunders

Bird signFish of the Day

Related Post: An illustration of sarcasm

An illustration of sarcasm

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SARCASM: An illustration

SARCASM:- “A sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt.” More contemporary definitions often emphasize the false, mocking praise and verbal irony of sarcasm rather than its malicious or scornful intent. However, the etymology of the word “sarcasm” clearly indicates that wounding was (at least historically) the primary point. The word comes from the late Latin sarcasmus, derived from the Greek sarkasmos (“a sneer, jest, taunt, mockery”) and sarkazein (“to speak bitterly, sneer”–literally, “to strip off the flesh” or “to bite the lips in rage”). – Sarcasm Society

An illustration of sarcasm
I've got your back!

“It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
Paul Newman

An illustration of sarcasm

Stop following me!

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban

An illustration of sarcasm

In great shape

“How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.” – Groucho Marx

An illustration of sarcasm

Wanted poster

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
Ashleigh Brilliant

An illustration of sarcasm

Always give 100% at work

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

An illustration of sarcasm

Funny bunnies

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

An illustration of sarcasm

Chickenpox

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

An illustration of sarcasm

What women want

“I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don’t like?” – Jean Cocteau

An illustration of sarcasm

Bad, good, perfect

“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.” – John Cleese

Related Post: An illustration of irony

Don’t steal computers belonging to people who know how to use computers

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VIDEO: Macbook thief gets defamed on YouTube

I CAUGHT wind of a fantastic story on 5fm while stuck in traffic this morning. Apparently some guy had his fancy new Macbook Air stolen from him. A while later, Steve (we’ll call him Steve) remembered that his Macbook had an auto backup function which automatically backed up his data to an online server. When Steve went online to have a little peruse through his data he skillfully managed to find the identity of the Macbook thief. Not only that, but Steve also came across a video the wannabe rapper had made using his newly acquired Macbook Air.

Steve reported the identity of the Macbook rapper to the police and uploaded the video to YouTube. It has now seen over a million views and is appropriately titled, “don’t steal computers belonging to people who know how to use computers.” The rapper has asked that the embarrassing video be pulled from YouTube and that he was sorry for stealing the Macbook. Steve and his new fan base told him to get bent.

Don’t steal computers belonging to people
who know how to use computers

lol