Tag Archives: something silly

The Banana Test and the Broke Old Lady

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SOMETHING SILLY: Banana Test & the Broke Old Lady

WHEN I SAY I’M BROKE – I’M BROKE!

A little old lady answered a knock at the door one day to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning”, said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“Go away!” piped the old lady. “I’m broke and haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” said he. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

“Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well let me get you a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.”

THE BANANA TEST

There was a very, very tall coconut tree and four animals, a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully. Try and get it within 30 seconds.

Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

  • Lion = you’re dull.
  • Chimpanzee = you are a moron.
  • Giraffe = you’re a complete idiot.
  • Squirrel = you are just hopelessly stupid.

A coconut tree doesn’t have bananas!

Obviously you’re stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax, banana brain. Try again next year.

Happy Friday !

Dear *blank* (most sincerely)

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HUMOUR: Dear *blank*

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch!
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realise that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that!
Sincerely, Logic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Sincerely, Spiders

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely, Google

Dear Voldemort,
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely, BP

Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely, 1985

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack

Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Soccer Fans,
B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!
Sincerely, Vuvuzelas

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely, God

Dear Rubik’s Cube,
Done!
Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
I. Can’t. Breathe.
Sincerely, Your Balls

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream… What now?
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man. All you had to do was wake up.
Sincerely, Mulan

Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast

Dear Edward,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely, a stake

Dear Prince Charming,
You’ve got some explaining to do!
Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty